Funny Christmas Jokes

Funny clean Christmas jokes are especially for enjoying by sharing it in the gatherings and Christmas parties so, collect short funny Christmas jokes from our site. Write these Christmas jokes funny or funny Christmas jokes on cards. You will also surely like the sms Christmas jokes and funny rude Christmas jokes listed on our site.

funny christmas jokes

  • Christmas is the Disneyfication of Christianity
  • Never catch snowflakes on your tongue until until
    all the birds have gone south for the winter!
  • You know you’re getting old when Santa starts looking younger.
  • Who delivers presents to cats?
    Santa Paws!
  • Why the Christmas tree can’t stand up?It doesn’t have legs.
  • Bert, aged 25.  ‘My wife’s an angel’.
    Don, aged 57.  ‘Your lucky, mine is still alive’.
  • Good King Wenceslas phoned Domino’s for a pizza.
    The salesgirl asked him:-
    ‘Do you want your usual?  Deep pan, crisp and even?’
  • Why did the little boy push his bed into the fireplace?
    He wanted to sleep like a log.
  • Q: What is the best evidence that Microsoft has a monopoly?
    A: Santa Claus had to switch from Chimneys to Windows.
  • What happened when the snowwoman fell out
    with the snowman ?
    Nothing – She gave him the cold shoulder
  • Did you hear about Dracula’s Christmas party?
    It was a scream
  • What is similar between Christmas and a work-day in the office?
    You do the whole work, but the big guy in costume makes a merit of it.
  • What does a cat on the beach have in common with Christmas?
    Sandy claws.
  • Question: What was wrong with the boy’s brand new toy electric train set he received for Christmas?
    Answer: Forty feet of track – all straight!
  • Question: What do you get when you cross an archer with a gift-wrapper?
    Answer: Ribbon hood.
  • Why did the little boy push his bed into the fireplace?
    He wanted to sleep like a log.
  • Knock knock!
    Who’s there?
    Snow.
    Snow who?
    Snow use – I’ve forgotten my name again!.
  • Who is never hungry at Christmas ?
    The turkey – he’s always stuffed
  • “Oh, c’mon baby, let’s you and I play Weeweechu. I love you and it’s the perfect time,”
  • The Santa Claus at the shopping mall was very surprised when a young lady aged about 20 years old walked up and sat on his lap. Now, we all know that Santa doesn’t usually take requests from adults, but she smiled very nicely at him and asked ‘What do you want for Christmas?’ ‘Something for my mother, please,’ replied young lady sweetly. ‘Something for your mother? Well, that’s very loving and thoughtful of you,’ smiled Santa. ‘What do would you like me to bring her?’ Without pausing, the lady answered quickly, ‘A millionaire son-in-law.’